I Keep Dreaming
by savifa
Summary: It's like what they say about lovebirds... when one dies, the other loses its will to live....


I Keep Dreaming

Note: I've been having major writer's block lately and after reading this one thread in a CloudxTifa forum I'm a part of I suddenly got an idea for a oneshot. I kept nearly stopping and not finishing this story because of how much it was affecting me as I wrote it. But it got finished and this is the result. I warm you: have tissues at your disposal.

Disclaimer: I own not Final Fantasy VII or the characters in this story. They belong to SquareEnix and I'm only borrowing them for this story.

* * *

_'Cause you know,  
you know, you know_

_That I love you  
I've loved you all along  
And I miss you  
Been far away for far too long  
I keep dreaming you'll be with me  
and you'll never go   
Stop breathing if  
I don't see you anymore_

_**- Nickelback – Far Away -**_

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* * *

**_

It's a gloomy Sunday morning; just like all the Sunday mornings seem to be as of late. There's a small sprinkle of rain and it falls in gentle sheets over the fading grass and wilted flowers, misting against stones as the cold water met a cold surface. The way it rains almost could seem like tears… But that is for people with a poetic sort of feel for things, living and non-living alike.

The crunch of shoes on gravel and grass breaks the everlasting silence hanging all around, quiet murmurs that seem to come from two different people – one a young boy and the other a little girl, both dressed in their Sunday best – soon dies down to a silence and once again the surrounding area heaves a heavy veil of loneliness, of silence and bittersweet memories

It is there that a woman no older than thirty comes to a stop, her body shivering against the light shower of rain. She had chose not to wear a jacket that day, and neglected herself to grab an umbrella – but the two children are smart and brought one along, but they let her go on alone and stand by the big black gates until she returns.

Her petite frame shudders more, shaking as quiet tears roll down her cheeks and slip to the already wet ground and dirty beneath her fingers. A fresh batch of flowers, an assortment of lilies and roses, is set to before the erected stone and on the ground where grass is beginning to grow. She notes the budding of a young tree just a foot or so away but then ignores it as soon as her dark eyed gaze returns to the stone that stand before her.

And she just hates to believe that this could be the truth…

_Cloud Strife  
beloved father, husband, and hero  
may his soul rest on in the afterlife_

A shaky hand does she raise and reach out, touching the cold and wet stone with cold fingers. Sometimes she just wants to make believe that this is all a joke and that he really never had passed on and is still there…

She swears he's still there, she can feel him every time she wakes up and works around the bar. She can feel him no matter what, swears that sometimes she can hear his voice in the middle of the night as she lays wide eyed awake with insomnia and stares at the ceiling.

"Why…?" Her voice chokes and she holds back a sob, sniffling to keep the breakdown from coming. "I told you not to go out that day, and you told me that you had a bad feeling about it… So why did you go out anyway, why did you ignore your own guy instinct – that's not like you, Cloud, you always listen to your instincts and do as they say."

With a push she's there against the stone, arms wrapped tight around it and gripping it in a heavy hug. It's the closet thing to Cloud, besides the pillow he used and the clothes he wore. This was the closest she would ever get to him now…

He was gone.

Didn't see the turn of the road or the large dip and break of street; the bike went out of control, flipped and sent him tumbling off before pinning him down and against a metal rail.

…he never even survived the trip to the hospital, announced dead on arrival.

"You survived so much… We all survived so much and we learned to move on, right?" She whispers to the stone and the air, her body shivering ever more as the rain begins to grow heavier. "Do you… Do you watch us from the afterlife, Cloud? Do you see how your little girl is starting to look just like you, with bright blue eyes and blonde hair? She…She reminds me of you so much and…it hurts to look at her. Our little Anna."

"Tifa…?"

To the voice her body stiffens, her head slow to look over her shoulder and at the big dark-skinned man standing there just a foot or two away. That look of sympathy is in his eyes and he seems to not know what to do now that he's there. It would have been so much better if it had been Denzel or Marlene coming to get her, which was what he thought as he stared at the broken woman on the ground. Her dark hair was wet and clinging against her face and neck, the Sunday best dress heavy with water and sucking against the form of her body.

God did he hate seeing her like that.

"C'mon, Teef, we're all gonna go over t'Yuffie's for dinner. Whaddya say to that?"

"I…" She breathes, unable to find the words. "Just…a few for minutes…please…?"

With a sigh and a nod he turns, "a'ight, just a little bit more. We be waitin' for you at the car."

As soon as he's gone the woman's head is back to rest against the cool stone, her grip on it finally loosening just a little before leaving it completely. Her hands are set against her lap and she can only just find the strength to shake her head slowly.

"I hate knowing your gone, that you're never going to come back no matter how hard I keep wishing for you too. I keep trying to make myself believe that you're still here and not buried beneath the ground or becoming part of the Lifestream…no… I swear that I still here you, that I feel you in my heart because I'll never ever forget you. I'm always going to love you and remember everything we went through together…"

The good and bad times; trying to help him remember who he was and piece his true-self back together, knowing that he was happy but then having him leave just a couple days later after bringing Denzel to the bar, finding out he had Geostigma and felt like a complete and utter failure, trying to reassure him and get him back to fighting for the future and to stop living in the past with his memories, learning he was forgiven and watching as calm and peace settled over him…finally admitting feelings and knowing what real happiness was. Exploring one another, feeling the sensation that was body to body and skin to skin contact, hands always gliding and finding new places and areas never before known. Being married and then having a little girl a few years later.

Receiving a phone call in the middle of the afternoon and just as Denzel and Marlene are returning from school, hearing the sad voice of a doctor on the other line telling her the news that her husband was dead…

…all those memories – happy, sad, good, bad – were going to live in her heart and mind forever.

But…she just felt like she would never move on past this, past his death. Never knew what to do with her day beside clean around the bar and take care of their little girl, send off Denzel and Marlene to school and open up the bar to customers.

But it just wasn't the same anymore.

"I miss you…"

And finally she breaks herself from the headstone and stands on shaky legs. With a sad smile and tears still cascading down her face the woman bows her head and swallows heavily. "I'm…I'm really trying… Really trying to keep up with life and get over this, over the fact that you're gone." Even if it had been two years since he was dead she still felt just as depressed as the day the news had been received. The will to live had just started to diminish and fade since then.

"One day… One day I'm sure I'll be able to overcome this, right?" And she nods to her own words, smiling even more and laughing softly. "I know you wouldn't want to see me like that, you always did say that tears never suited me, that you loved to see me smile and laugh instead. I'll try to do that for you, okay?"

Brushing her fingertips against the top of the stone just once more the woman turns and sighs heavily, a near shudder within the sound. "I love you, Cloud. I always will…"

As she walked away and towards the entrance of the cemetery she is unaware to the figure kneeling beside the grave, fingers gingerly touching the newly laid flowers and watching as the woman continues to walk with heavy and broken steps.

_"…__I love you too, Tifa."_

And there it was, the whispered voice in her ears. She turns quickly on to catch sight of a smile and head of blond hair before whatever ghostly-illusion her mind and heart produced for her faded and disappeared.


End file.
